Dallas girls on Halloween

Drove through all Dallas neighborhoods last night because this is my first year being 21 on Halloween and I don't really have a pre-conceived idea of any one area on this specific holiday. Well, I didn't need a pre-conceived idea because as it turns out, everything is as it usually is the other 51 weekends of the year. Here is how it went:

Uptown: typical slutty nurses and slutty cats, girls with no costumes wore knee high boots and blazers/sweaters

Upper/Lower Greenville: girly robins, scary witches, girls with no costumes wore flat boots with scarves and big jackets. 

Deep Ellum: Ursula's, Jersey Shore Skeletons, Pharrell, orange & champagne couple (mimosa), telephone wire couple, long haired Thor. Many many obscure outfits I would have laughed at if I had the energy to scream inside a noisy bar. Girls with no costumes were... Not here. 

Downtown Dallas Synn/Plush: (Had no interest in going here, this is the route I took home and I got to see what was spilling on the streets, not what was actually inside) Slutty black dress, no ears, painted on makeup, slutty (?) glitter girl, slutty slut with orange heels. Girls with no costumes wore.. Well the same thing. 

Retrograde to Romance

Today I had a compelling thought. 

I was watching The Time Traveler's  Wife, and as usual when I watch any love-story film, I was completely immersed. I'm constantly influenced and impacted by love of all kinds; fictitious, real, old, new, unexpected, but most of all, grand. And as I shifted from a beautiful scene to my reality- sending a text in bed- I felt very odd. The idea that I could just send a message with words as boring as "idk the one you wore during Thanksgiving", just seemed awfully wrong to me. 

My mind couldn't grasp how such a banal text could exist in the same world as this intricate whirlwind of love on my screen. 

Now I fully understand that to some, movies are movies. They are sugary cotton candy and none of it will ever be real. 

I also fully understand the gap in generations and society and the huge leap technology has made for humans and I do not condemn that in any way. I love my iphone as much as the next person but gone are the days of raw feeling and telling people things in person. It was just last night when the person right in front of me sent me a message that made my heart jump a little reading it, it made me emotional. It was beautiful and hard to say but that is what is missing. Staying up late waking up for a phone call on a house phone Sixteen Candles-style is what we are missing. Deep conversations with words you've painfully felt for a long time Pride and Prejudice-style is what we are missing. Melodramatic Twilight conversations and hangs from The Notebook are what relationships are missing. Too much Instagram and Facebook and emphasis on the perfect couple picture, capturing everything for the world instead of one-self is what has watered down everything that is love. Humans are what are responsible for feelings and romance.. they are after all, the masterminds that result in such grand stories. If they exist in minds, they exist in the world. Technology has done nothing but cut up and slowed down all raw feelings, through apps like Tinder and Grindr and dating websites, cheating websites, Facebook and Instagram in which we not only judge by appearance, but it puts everything else on hold. Have you ever met someone and not thought of them as attractive but after getting to know them, you develop a liking.. Where's the Tinder button for that? 

So I had a thought that maybe I shouldn't have to text every second, maybe I could hold off for longer. Perhaps not be as drastic as cutting off my phone and connecting a house land line and waiting up all hours, but something as simple as waiting to get a phone call so we could talk about the day would change a little something. Maybe I could get picked up and rush to the driver's door and smile instead of having nothing to talk about because we'd been texting all day. Maybe things would be more magical if we didn't try to make everything so fast and cold and quick. Maybe taking time during those moments which we normally try to speed up are what is secretly hidden, what that mystical movie power is secretly made up of. 

I don't know how long I can go without falling back to our advanced-to-the-world but retrograde-to-romance ways but I'm sure willing to try. 

Like Albert Einstein once said, "If it's not like the movies- that's how it should be."

Wait, no. That might have been Katy Perry. 

A Rose By Any Other Name

At an attempt to keep my private life private on this blog, I've refrained from writing about anything too specific pertaining to my relationship. But a huge milestone is upon my boyfriend and I: 5 years ago we started dating. And yet, as I read that sentence aloud, I find a very troubling problem with the wording.

First of all, my "boyfriend" is not really my "boyfriend". He is a person who I met in high school, who's layers have been shed and coatings have been built. He is the chill factor in us. He is a dreamer, like I am. He is an introvert unlike I am. To himself, unless sought for, unless he is interested in what you have to say. I am very outgoing, he says I speak to other people too much when we are out, I am "too friendly".. He likes quiet places. I like loud places, with chaos and loud music and a swarm of humans. He goes with the flow, almost always my flow. I am a planner.. I do it months ahead, I do lists and itineraries, I take care of tickets and expense planning. He flies with it. He is unsure of many things pertaining to himself, unlike I am. I have a set view on how I should be, a strict view; a modern day, casual, Texan, family-oriented, messy, traveling, yoga-doing, peaceful, giving Carrie Bradshaw. He is very passionate like I am. He has a free heart. He is an artist, I am a writer. I'm very aware of my world on paper, he is very aware of the world around him. He is who i called the other day, tears welling in my sockets, stressed beyond belief about school. He is who dismissively tells me I'm overreacting and not to stress.. And to digress, I need "dismissively". I need "chill-factor". I need the quiet sometimes.
Without him dismissing my stressful call, I would probably drive myself crazy. He knows me and knows that dismissing me is the only way to calm me down. He walks me through the process of calming down and knows the perfect tone to use with me, knows that any crack in his facade could lead to a surge of tears. We both have a mutual understanding that this is what needs to be done. And I appreciate it beyond words.

I am dramatic. Not to belittle my emotions that day, but I'm very poor with emotions. Bad, good.. They wash over anything else. I'm always very white or very black.  I'm seldom gray and when I'm gray, I pick a side. He is very white and black as well, but when it comes to stress, anger and sadness, he's dealt with it better than I have. I'm very manic and he is better at hiding his emotions or back seating them.

My boyfriend is not my "boyfriend" and I say that only because when I tell anyone that he is my boyfriend, I see a picture of sweaty-palmed us walking through halls with bright red lockers in the background. Sweaty-palmed us with no actual real issues other than which color we'd wear to prom or who we had dated prior to each other.

This is why I will never have a label for him. Our relationship goes beyond anything I could ever pick a word for. It's been a high thing, a low thing, a middle thing.. At first not even really a "thing" at all.. Just some "thing." My boyfriend, keeper, lover, best friend. Still, he's never been my Elvis, it's never been a blind love. It's always been exactly what it looks like. We've made mistakes that I don't really consider mistakes and we'll make many more mistakes in the future. I'm counting on it. I never signed up for anything perfect, I thrive in chaos, in learning and in the abstract of humanity. He is the blue I never knew I needed and if he could play the violin, I could name all the American presidents names backwards. He is the rain that ruins your plans. The overcast skies that turn everything completely upside down. The best-ever rainy day, a floor length pink chiffon dress and black suit running into the woods together hand in hand, milky mud below them and a blue fog around them.

I'll always be picky about words because that is the nature of any writer but maybe I could call him my fiancé just because I like the way the "é" sounds creamy. I also like the term Valentine but that's probably just because I'm obsessed with anything that's unorthodox and fascinated with the macabre tale from which the term originated. Maybe I also like the fact that I could use temporary terms for something that isn't defined by time or space. I'm running by my own rules. Maybe I could be his forever fiancé and maybe I'll just call him my blue valentine.

http://thoughtcatalog.com/sarah-cook/2014/08/suicide-is-no-less-of-a-tragedy/

People don't know what it's like to be at a stopped sign and be asked for a sandwich. White privilege runs so deep into our core that it sickens me when people upload or like all these racist posts about "sending people back where they came from." This is where the problem lies. The fact that they haven't been where all these souls have come from. I challenge each and everyone of these outspoken white supremacists not to watch some dramatic documentary or research some cold statistics but to take a trip down south or into any struggling Latin country for that matter and feel the pain first hand when someone is selling apples and asking you if you would possibly have any lunch leftovers to give them or cents to complete a bus trip, then watch in the rear view mirror as they automatically rip through the Twinkie in the plastic wrap you happened to have. I know in my heart that if anyone experienced this first hand it could be enough to shift a couple of views slightly.. Even those that have been set since childhood. And that might be enough.

"There is no need for temples, no need for complicated philosophies. My brain and my heart are my temples; my philosophy is kindness."

-Dalai Lama

Untouchables (Ramble Post)

I have a problem and it is as follows: I tend to fall for a book or character and immortalize it. I tend to give the most flawed characters a pedestal upon which anybody in my real life could never even fathom touching. It's a real catch-22 because the reason that they are up on that pedestal is because they are so flawed and classic, yet I make them untouchable. Everything is so mediocre in real life and very few people interest me in the beginning and even fewer keep me interested later. Reading an autobiographical book lately (the first book I have opened and read cover to cover in 7 years) helped me build a bridge and connect the two worlds. It helped me understand a legend behind closed doors, but it wasn't just that one person, it was more than that. It helped break down that wall I had built between the Untouchables and my real life. In real life, people are just people and the most grand, beautiful people have awfully human habits. This is something my tough-as-nails mind could never comprehend until I read this book. In the end, all people are JUST people who breathe, curse, have different up-bringings, have views on both sexes, have dark inner demons, have suicidal thoughts, have dependent personalities, have mind-numbing habits, have different complexes, have opposing issues at hand, have different battles, have different priorities, have skewed priorities, have different outlooks.. All, beautifully. I then realized that legend or fame or poverty or homelessness does not have any effect on the "immortality" that is the human being in the grand scheme of things. As mundane as someone may be, their feelings inside and inner monologue are enough to paint the most beautiful portrait next to all other portraits.  The complexity of all human altogether, makes every human alone a legend.

Glamour

I think that the biggest mistake a girl can make is purchasing something only because it's a trend. Is it for you? Will you look amazing in it? If you were photographed would you ever look back and say "damn I should've worn something different?" I like vintage pieces because I know that in the past, flattering cuts were on all items of clothing. I also like them because I know that nothing looked cheap, no matter how old. Nowadays girls parade with these rainbow colored outfits that make no sense. It's all too much. Everybody is over-thinking it. I think you should try many different styles and I think you should see what works for you and never let it go. I know my mom always told me "Fit over trend." Therefore I stopped liking what "looked pretty" and started looking for what looked pretty on me. 

A wise woman named Sophia Loren once said "A woman's dress should be like barbed wire: serve it's purpose without obstructing the view."

I'm not saying I'm a professional stylist but I do understand what makes women look beautiful. And ever so often I make a note in my mind, "Wow she should really wear that color more often." Or "Geez, that style of dress really flatters her." Everyone notices when women look beautiful but very few people notice why. This is a priceless tool my mom taught me and honestly the only thing that it can be called is glamour. 

When you feel like you look the prettiest and don't know exactly why, take note of it. Did you get a tan? Is there a color that makes you pop? Do you look best in tight tops but loose pants? Do you have awesome legs? Does that style of shoes make your legs look awesome-er?

Glamour isn't glitter and trends. Glamour is looking your very best and perplexing people as to why you look a certain way all the time. Glamour is turning down beautiful psychedelic outfits and instead opting for black tops that cut off at my collar bones. Glamour is cutting off my mermaid-length hair to layers that hit my chin to emphasize my facial features.

Glamour is understanding that you can't be a thin-nosed, pale, blue-eyed Megan Fox if you're a tan, big lipped, honey-haired Eva Longoria.. Or that you can't be a make-up less cool, grunge Kristen Stewart if you're  a glam doll, makeup junkie Lady Gaga. 

I can't remember all the times I tried to just follow what "was". Thin eyebrows, shiny lipgloss, straight hair was the norm growing up. 

Women have to learn to play up their attributes. I had to learn that voluminous hair was mine. I had to learn to grow out my eyebrows. I had to learn to play up my eyes and own my lips. My tan was on my side. 

You have all these features on you, don't ignore them. They are your femininity. They are your female superpowers. Use them. Use yours, no one else's.

"Glam culture is ultimately rooted in obsession, and those of us who are truly devoted and loyal to the lifestyle of glamour are masters of its history. Or, to put it more elegantly, we are librarians." -Lady Gaga

    

Thoughtpiece: JFK and Obama VS WWIII

Article: http://m.csmonitor.com/USA/DC-Decoder/2014/0728/Ukraine-crisis-How-far-will-Obama-go-to-get-Russia-to-back-down-video

Documentary: http://youtu.be/r1sPSx24v4w

I've been really into a show called "The Sixties" on CNN which is a 10-piece documentary on several aspects of the era, from tv to music to political stories. 

I've watched five of the episodes and became smitten not only because I already loved the Sixties, and not only because JFK is my favorite president, and not only because I love bell-bottom pants, but because I'm currently living vicariously through this documentary, and understanding the different events that helped shape and shift the United States and other parts of the world for the rest of time. 

I watched the second episode yesterday and today read a short current article about what is going on in Ukraine currently and was so interested in the fact that the stories were so eerily similar even through they are 55 years apart. 

Past: Nikita Kruschev-led Soviet Union is aiding the Cubans with nuclear weapons. JFK's aides show him pictures as he wants to be sure to not repeat a ridicule like the Bay of Pigs.

Currently, in Washington: "The United States has released what it says is photographic evidence of Russia shelling targets in Ukraine from its side of the border, and senior US officials are telling their Russian counterparts the US has proof of the Russian military’s growing involvement in Ukraine."

 Past: JFK treads lightly. He tries as hard as he can to avoid unnecessary actions that could lead to retaliations from the Soviets that could then eventually lead to World War III. He has word of missiles in Cuba but pushes to get cold, hard evidence that it is in fact Kruschev that is aiding Castro and the Communist Cubans with nuclear bombs. JFK gets the cold hard evidence. 

Currently, in Washington: "President Obama has so far limited his response to Russia’s meddling in Ukraine to sanctions targeting Russia’s economy and some individuals in Russian President Vladimir Putin’s inner circle. More recently, he has also pressed for international inspectors to have access to the crash site of Malaysia Airlines Flight 17, which is in the thick of intense fighting between Ukrainian forces and pro-Russian separatists. But moving beyond sanctions against Russia – and encouraging the European Union to go forward with tougher sanctions – to more direct military involvement on the side of the Ukrainian government is still a step Obama is unlikely to take, some foreign-policy analysts say. One overriding reason: The president wants to avoid steps that risk plunging the US into a proxy war with Russia. "

Past: Of course as everyone knows, JFK and Kruschev end up signing the famous nuclear ban treaty along with other leaders of the Western world. 

Currently, in Washington: Obama is not pressed to supply Ukraine with weapons as Russia would in retaliation supply the separatists with even more weapons.      

Some questions:       

 

Does anyone see the bullish bravado in most all Russian leaders?

Will the Soviet's hold on Russian leaders and their history ever fade? 

Will there ever be a president in America that is not afraid to stand up to our long-time enemy? 

Or is it better to tread lightly against people with such opposing and forward way of thinking? 

Is all the WWIII talk really all that plausible or is the media just being it's usual vain self? 

How-To Concert in Dallas

Yeah, I used concert as a verb. Do you even concert, bro? 

I've had my share of "wins, and losses and fails and falls" in my 8 years of Dallas concerting and I've decided to share a few of them with you to better your experiences. I am by no means a concert-going vet, as that would implicate that I've been to many free local places or hole-in-the wall venues. I've been to mostly all mainstream artists and a handful of indie bands due to the simple fact that Dallas is a mainstream city and Austin gets all the indie gold.

Let's start off with a few keywords

Venue: I once was told I got brownie points for knowing the correct term for a place a concert is held. I want to share my brownie points with you. No matter if you're going to a pavilion, theater, lounge, bar, arena, center, stadium, opera house, concert hall, night club, park, pub.. It's a venue. You can call it a venue if you don't know which of the above it falls under. 

SRO: Standing Room Only. There are no seats in this venue, you must stand. First come, first serve. This is where magic happens. 

General Admission: The holy grail of keywords. General admission mostly always means that every concert goer pays a flat line rate to squish into a concert in a first come first serve basis. If your favorite artist is coming to town and it's a general admission show, you absolutely have 100% of a chance at being a foot away from them. Yes, I've had the privilege and yes it's all it's cracked up to be. I have Alex Ebert's Perrier bottle and Big Sean's autographed lighter to prove it. 

Sometimes, though, General Admission has a chance to be at the very front and also stuck between seat sections and other times, general admission means the very back. Be sure to check out your venue seating and what type of seating is being used for that specific concert beforehand, since every artist and band has their specific seating for all venues. Call and make sure since sometimes the website has their standard seating instead of the seating for a specific performance. 

Helpful Tips: who, what, when, and where

 Who is attending the concert? 

People tend to underestimate the effect other concert-goers can have on your experience. I've been to many concerts in which the crowd dampened my night and viewing pleasure. Ask yourself.. Does the concert have an age limit? Do you care about the performer enough to endure the pain of teenage girls screaming? Does the performer have a young following? Some venues do not care to stop certain drugs, so are you okay with inhaling fumes on fumes on fumes of marijuana? Who are you going with? As in, what kind of concert-goer are they? Are they the first-in-line, push-through-the-crowd, or chill-in-the-back dude? Are you two conflicting opposites? Will they be annoyed or chill? 

What are you wearing? If it's all general admission, somebody is bound to step on your shoes, so no- leave those Lita's at home. On second thought.. Why are you wearing heels to a general admission show? Are you crazy? You are only allowed to wear those to the AAC and sometimes the Verizon. And ONLY if they aren't paired with some awful cocktail dress with mesh cutouts or sequins. If it's cold outside and hot inside, or vice versa, your Texas layering game better be 100. Keep it simpler than you think you should. Keep the weather in mind. I wore an off the shoulder lace top and denim shorts to a concert in an amphitheater and when the weather dropped a sudden 20 degrees I wish I would've worn a band tee and some sweats as I was sitting on a cold bench and the venue was vast enough to have very few people to a bench. Another time I wore a cropped top and high waisted jeans and a leather jacket to an indoor hip hip concert and wished I'd have taken a much heavier jacket because the long line had me in 40 degree weather for about 3 hours. I got a cold. 

I understand whole heartedly how exciting it is to pick out an outfit for a concert but it is simply not worth the discomfort of not enjoying your time. 

When is it? This falls onto other factors such as where and what (in what way does the season affect your wardrobe) but also, what time is it? How many hours ahead will you have to leave early? When do doors open? Are there any places you'd like to hang around about 4 hours before the concert opens so you can beat traffic and have a bite to eat before hand? 

Where is it? Is it outside, can you take lawn chairs or a blanket? Will it be 100 degrees? Will it be worth it to sit outside on scratchy grass on a humid, 90 degree Texas night? Will it be somewhere where you need to leave your house 3 hours early to find decent parking? Will it be in a sketchy part of town in which you absolutely must pay for watched parking? If it's general admission, again, you will want to leave more than 2 hours earlier if you want to be at the front. 

The breaking down of Dallas venues:

The Granada: (SRO) Everyone's favorite. My personal favorite. The Dallas Observer's favorite. Stuck in Upper Greenville, no specific parking, but you can park significantly close among the neighborhoods as long as there isn't a sign that says otherwise. Many places to pre-game or catch some lunch nearby. The inside is of an authentic theater with steps and I believe the second level is a balcony-type thing. I've been there for their awesome Cowboys-watching parties and I saw Big Sean/Cyhi/Dustin Cavazos perform there as well as another indie hip hop artist I can't quite remember. The body-guard army men type people will try to keep everyone away from the aisles but once the performer comes out, it becomes a free-for all. I love the Granada for their awesome southern hip hop throwbacks pre-concert and their preserved architecture of the place as well as their awesome brother restaurant Sundown at Granada. Try their flatbread, it's organic heaven. The Granada is truly a Dallas gem.

Trees Dallas: (SRO) It's in Deep Ellum. It's sketchy, pay for secure parking. Walk from there. Other than that, it's an awesome little venue with an even more awesome setup. My first time was Dom Kennedy (who had a pretty awesome lineup of opening acts including Danny Brown) but my favorite was Curren$y by far. It was less packed so I got to actually move around and go upstairs to the little lounge with seats and I got to see all the tree-themed decor. You get a great view of the place from upstairs as well as on the stairs (not kidding) and downstairs. The crowd was way older at this concert, so that may have helped too. There was no pushing or pulling, just people everywhere talking and and drinking and having a great time.  Also.. this place isn't called Trees just for the hell of it. Whoever named it must have known it would live up to its name at every hip hop concert. One tip: DO NOT FUCK WITH SECURITY. I almost got thrown out at both concerts, one time it was my fault, one time it wasn't. 

Gilley's Dallas; Southside Music Hall and Southside Ballroom (SRO):

Awesome venue with 3 different venues inside that can house 3 performances simultaneously. Usually, you can tell if the line that's already forming outside is the one leading to your concert. If not, ask. You don't want to be in line for the wrong concert. I've visited this place for Drake, Frank Ocean and Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros. There is a pretty cool bar inside with over priced, watered down drinks. Parking is pretty sketchy here too, so pay for it. Since this venue rarely has age restrictions, people get there super early. The only time I was "on time", I was there 2 hours prior to the doors opening.  I got in to Edward Sharpe front row by getting there super early and buying something inside the bar. They had us in a lounge and let us in before the line outside. If a well-known act is coming in, prepare the line to be excruciatingly long. Speaking of excruciating, the A/C at this place is awful, and next time I go, I'll be wearing a tank top, cotton shorts and comfortable sneakers. Other than that, it's a pretty unique venue with beautiful antique decor and security is never rude. Also, the stage isn't guarded or too high so you can get as close to your devotion as you'd like. 

House of Blues Dallas (SRO): 

Pretty decent paid parking if you get there early. If you don't park in the lot, prepare to drive around many, many times since this is directly in downtown Dallas and traffic, along with the one way streets, will get the best of you. The venue itself dips down under.. It's probably the biggest of all the SRO venues in Dallas. Yet, as commercialized as all House of Blues-es are, they all tend to preserve that small-venue feel. The bar wraps around under. They have a nice balcony and you don't have to worry about A/C unless the concert is sold out or close to being sold out. Another venue with great pre-show music. This place is pretty fancy for an SRO, but I still love it. It's slightly pricier than the rest, but again, it's HOB. The staff also allows you in sometimes if you buy a meal at the bar or just hang in the lounge. Another time I was allowed to go in early because I had AT&T service. If this happens, get your smart helmet on and screen shot one AT&T home screen and send it to your friends. If you don't have AT&T or an iphone, you're SOL.

Dicks and Hooters are in walking distance if you're in the mood to pre-game or post-game. I saw Shwayze and A$AP Rocky/A$AP Mob/Schoolboy Q/Danny Brown here. A$AP and Schoolboy killed "Hands On the Wheel" and I didn't really mind the pushing and shoving and actual A$AP mob that the crowd formed. 'Twas hot though. 

Verizon Theater: 

Known for it's middle-class mainstream acts, Verizon gets a good rep. Known for everything else, Verizon gets a bad rep. Tickets sky-rocket, parking is hard to find, the area has nowhere to eat around. This is usually what you'd expect from a Theater, specially now so commercialized as Verizon is. I've been to Katy Perry and Boys Like Girls/All-American Rejects/Cobra Starship. Both tickets were nose bleeds and the nose bleeds here are worse than nose bleeds. They're faint-worthy. The elevation will make you dizzy. Your artist is smaller than an ant. Your videos will look like you filmed them from another state. I wouldn't go to this venue unless I purchased Pit/general admission/SRO tickets which are absolutely worth it since they're in front of even the closest seated sections. Prepare to eat movie theater quality food for twice the theater price. 

Gexa Energy Pavilion: 

My first venue. Huge, Texas style. There is a pit, then seats, then an upward hill/lawn. I saw Lil Wayne with Drake, Nicki Minaj, Trey Songz, Soulja Boy, Jeezy, TI and many more. It was one hell of a concert, let alone first concert. It was the last day of summer before I began my junior year in high school and the crowd, however funky, drunk, high, crazy, tatted, hood, white-trashy... Was awesome. It was everything you expected a Lil Wayne concert to be. I knew every single song and the opening acts were of no less caliber. On another hand, I went to a Mumford and Sons concert here as well and as amazing as they are, the genre of music just didn't translate to the open air pavilion. The concession stands are very state-fairish (It is next door to the State Fair)but not too unreasonably priced for such a huge place. Parking is vast, but you'll have to walk unless you find and pay for a tiny private lot. My advice is to try to get seats no matter how far in the back they may be and never over/pay. If you must sit on the lawn, get there early as it does fill up, if it's in the summer bring a blanket, sunglasses, sunblock, and don't wear a dress, girls. 

*Extra tips: 

-In the rare occurrence that in some twisted promotional fate of Cosmo events you get to see a big performer for free, be sure to bring something to snack on, something to drink, a fully charged phone, and someone you won't be tempted to kill with you. The lines are extremely long but the concerts end up being super worth it.

-Take pictures before hand! Before sweat, before alcohol, before messy hair, before the crowd. 

-Try to only film half of their "popular song". Take pictures when they are performing one of your less favorite songs. This will leave you too enjoy the rest. Chances are you'll just upload the videos on Facebook and forget about it later. Don't record and take pictures the whole time. It will drain your battery and you will not focus on the show. Nothing beats singing your heart out to your favorite song live. Not even a million Facebook likes. 

-If you can, buy tickets upfront  instead of online. This will eliminate a few fees. 

-If you must re-buy, but at StubHub. They show you the price in total whereas other re-selling websites won't show you the rest of their fees. They're also the most trust worthy when it comes to authenticity and offer a refund and even help you in finding last minute tickets if something goes wrong. 

-Try your very best to set an alarm 10 minutes before your tickets go on sale for the public so that you can have your credit card ready. I can't recall how many times I've neglected to buy tickets as soon as they went on sale and had to pay at LEAST 50% more than the original price. I buy them as soon as they go on sale, regardless of they're fame. You never know exactly how your city will react to small acts. 

Last but not least, have fun! Compromise! If something goes wrong and you're running late, make the most of it. Nothing is worse than having to pay 100$ a pop for tickets and having something inevitable ruin the rest of your night. Get over whatever small thing may have happened. YOCO! You Only Concert Once! 

What I Learned Today:

On "Consilience": 

I'm currently reading a book named "Why Darwin Matters" and today I learned something very simple but interesting... We all know it as "common sense and context clues", but there exists an actual fancy shmancy scientific name for when scientists and detectives have a single theory from different sources. Instead of trying to explain what it is through some discombobulated, millennial-ish, cheap translation I attached the eazzzy Wiki link! (Talk about millennial-ish.) Read it up! Eat it up! Reat it up! 

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Consilience

"In fact a mature person does not fall in love, he rises in love. The word ’fall’ is not right. Only immature people fall; they stumble and fall down in love. Somehow they were managing and standing. They cannot manage and they cannot stand – they find a woman and they are gone, they find a man and they are gone. They were always ready to fall on the ground and to creep. They don’t have the backbone, the spine; they don’t have that integrity to stand alone.

A mature person has the integrity to be alone. And when a mature person gives love, he gives without any strings attached to it: he simply gives. And when a mature person gives love, he feels grateful that you have accepted his love, not vice versa. He does not expect you to be thankful for it – no, not at all, he does not even need your thanks. He thanks you for accepting his love. And when two mature persons are in love, one of the greatest paradoxes of life happens, one of the most beautiful phenomena: they are together and yet tremendously alone; they are together so much so that they are almost one. But their oneness does not destroy their individuality, in fact, it enhances it: they become more individual.

 Two mature persons in love help each other to become more free. There is no politics involved, no diplomacy, no effort to dominate. How can you dominate the person you love? Just think over it. Domination is a sort of hatred, anger, enmity. How can you think of dominating a person you love? You would love to see the person totally free, independent; you will give him more individuality. That’s why I call it the greatest paradox: they are together so much so that they are almost one, but still in that oneness they are individuals. Their individualities are not effaced – they have become more enhanced. The other has enriched them as far as their freedom is concerned.

 Immature people falling in love destroy each other’s freedom, create a bondage, make a prison. Mature persons in love help each other to be free; they help each other to destroy all sorts of bondages. And when love flows with freedom there is beauty. When love flows with dependence there is ugliness.”

Osho

Short Is The New Long

I've had long hair since I was a little girl. My mother tells me stories about how when I was a newborn, my hair wouldn't grow so she would hot glue bows to the little patches of hair I did have. (My boyfriend now calls me Patches.) Eventually though, I grew hair.. And a lot of it. At age 6 I already had a beautiful, long, shiny mane that everyone adored and complimented my mom on. In elementary, all the little boys liked me, and I know now, it was because of the hair. Long hair gives the illusion of attraction, a pretty girl will always have long hair down to her waist.. The cultural standard is everywhere; rom com movies, action movies, hip-hop songs, country songs, pop songs. 

She would use this story against me later when I pleaded to cut my hair. I had just transferred to middle school when the Rihanna-bob took over. She'd tell me shorter hair was for older women and that long hair was girly. Still, left and right every girl looked so cool and trendy and I felt like I looked the same- long, boring, brown hair. 

Later on, in high school, when everyone's bobs had gone through that awful middle bob phase, the extension craze took over and luckily, I had no need. My real hair was every girl's envy; long, beautiful, brown hair. 

These past few years, although extensions are no longer as popular, long hair has been. The Kardashians are partly to blame. So are instagram famed models and MUA's. So I grew my already  long hair to my waist and naturally, I bask in the compliments of boys and girls alike- equally about my ombré hair color and my hair length. 

About a month ago, I took a photo with my boyfriend and I noticed my hair looked really shapeless. It was long and pretty itself but it did nothing to my face and I already knew it was burnt because of all the bleach, so I entertained the thought of cutting it. I carried the thought for a while and over time I started seeing pictures of beautiful muses Izabel Goulart, Alessandra Ambrosio, Adriana Lima, Candice Swanepoel, and even Kim K all with choppy layers surrounding their face. They are all beautiful, fashionable and modern and none of them had that long hippy hair. 

Speaking of hippies though, I was also scanning through several beachy/boho Instagram pages and their models had short to mid-length hair and I came to the realization that this was the new long. 

Even hippies had shorter hair.

Keep in mind that I went through my "Texas-sized, long hair" phase and although I like big hair, I don't like the ostentatious volume anymore. I found myself doing my hair in a more tousled, less curled, undone beach hair style. 

Long hair seemed outdated and going down my Instagram feed I realized that most girls had really long hair and it just seems over drawn. I've also always been one to shy away from the norm surrounding me, so I decided to cut it. My head feels lighter and healthier and it frames my face a lot better. I feel really feminine now with hair over and near my face and I needed something refreshing. Not to mention the breath of fresh air I just aided to my bleached ombré. 

Bye bye hippy hair

Here's to a new chapter in my eventful hair journal! 

UV

As you may have heard, Lana Del Rey's sophomore album, Ultraviolence has leaked a week prior to release. It was bound to happen and I am ecstatic.

The first time I was introduced to Lana Del Rey, I was enamored with her sultry voice that came in waves and waves and waves. There was something grandiose about her, everything grandiose about her. 

I hadn't heard anyone talk about her at all until I saw my then-guilty pleasure Katy Perry tweet "Lana Del Rey all day." I googled the girl, listened to Blue Jeans and then in one sitting, every other song she had ever written. I was so entranced. I loved her strong, chaotic stories and the beautiful pictures she painted in every single song. I specially loved the lyrics though; she was a slave to her loves, she sung about being a masochist, she was sad. She could be sad, she could be mad, she could be free and there was something so fresh and freeing about a woman who sung about being empowered by men- ironically, it sounded to me that she was a strong, honest enough woman to admit to her innermost feelings. There might be one lyric that sums up all of her first album and it's in the second verse of "Off To The Races": "I'm not afraid to say, that I'd die without him." 

Apart from her damsel in distress style, you still have quite the starlet. Diet Mountain Dew, Radio and Carmen give you a little taste of Lana and her relationship with herself, her American dreams, her love for her city, the women she admires. She paints a big picture of love, but in the background she includes her love for certain places, certain pop culture icons, and sometimes just beautifully-sounding words. All in all, though, Born To Die was an introduction to the world, a story about a damsel, heroine, a Hollywood starlet paving her way through and apart from the sold-out Katy Perrys, Lady Gagas and Rihannas of the day.

Ultraviolence turned out to be so much more. She had already set her creative place with Born To Die so I believe that in this album she gave herself freedom to create a different tone with more obscure lyrics and less of the sassy fluff we all came to love about her. 

 I don't include Black Beauty and I'm not quite sure if it's because it was leaked a while ago and I associate it with her other leaks or if it's because it truly doesn't sound the same.

Either way, this time around, LDR plays up her dangerous side with sexier tracks, less of the romantic swirls, more of the sensual waves. 

West Coast's californian vibes take you to a beach at night, Shades Of Cool takes you on a slow ride down the street in a Blue Cadillac, Brooklyn Baby sets you in a 70's era campfire with a guitar and your cool boyfriend.. (In which Lana's actual boyfriend Barrie O Neill joins her in singing about how much cooler she is than him.)

Guns N Roses is a song that doesn't mean to take you anywhere, Lana sings calmly and beautifully about her regrets about her "better than the rest" love and his love for the band. 

The Other Woman is a song you'd hear blasting from a cream-colored radio on a beautiful vanity in a fifties blockbuster.

Sad Girl is Lana's attempt at making the side-chick role seem glamorous.. A successful attempt at that. She croons about "being a bad bitch on the side" and warns others; "watch what you say to me, careful who you're talking to- I'm on fire." 

This time around, she's her most empowered muse, a stronger Lana Del Rey. More confident, more casual, but just as cinematic. 

It was everybody's question what she would be left to do in this highly anticipated album and she answered it proudly: still herself, still her production, she still calls the lights, the sounds, she just casted a different crew and created new stories from the embers of Born To Die and created a whole different monster..

A monster I know will become an instantaneous hit once it is released and hopefully a turning point for her naysayers, for in this she proves that she is not a posing, collagen-lipped anti-feminist hipster but an intelligent woman who uses her knowledge on literature, emotions and obsessions and turns them into magical musical art. 

Every Now and Then The Stars Align

I grew up with a cynical mindset about mostly everything.. Love, myths, conspiracies, superstitions, tales, etc. so naturally, even at a young age, I also scoffed at the idea of astrology and that the month you are born in can have any kind of tell on the kind of person you are.

However as I've grown up, I've opened my mind to many, many things and so recently I became slightly interested in Zodiac signs and I found them to be brutally, creepily true. There are so many people I identified so strongly with their charts that I didn't even consider that any one zodiac was being over-generalized.. One couldn't possibly fit into another. 

I also found that you could read about the compatibility with another zodiac sign and was instantly suckered in.. The results were so shockingly close to my actual relationship, some actions and feelings dating back as far as 4 years ago, up until recently. The ones that rung most true were as follows:   

• Where Gemini is adaptable, intellectual, outgoing and chatty, Scorpio tends to be secretive, focused, intense and determined. 
• Gemini tends to take things lightly, including their lover; Scorpio, on the other hand, has a very deep need for emotional connection and intimacy.
• Scorpio is generally very loyal to their lover and very connected to the relationship.
• This relationship tends to be highly passionate and can often be characterized by arguments;
• Gemini loves a good debate, considering it the epitome of mental stimulation
• Gemini's flirtatiousness tends to grate on Scorpio’s jealous, possessive nerves.
• They have lots of adventures together, but if things get too tense and arguments start to turn negative, they must make the effort to reconcile if they value the relationship and want it to last.
• Scorpio is generally quite concerned with sexual and emotional intimacy; they need much reassurance that their lover values the relationship as much as they do. 
• Gemini has excellent communicative abilities
• Gemini can’t and won’t fake a commitment they don’t feel, so intense Scorpio must learn to back off a bit.
• Scorpio is a master strategist; if there’s a decision to be made or a project at hand, they can help flighty Gemini focus on the best options.
• Gemini, in turn, teaches Scorpio to let go and move on when their efforts are thwarted.
• Scorpio’s emotional manipulations can prove to dampen Gemini’s natural energy and enthusiasm. Also, airy Gemini can leave Scorpio’s deep waters feeling choppy, rough and disturbed.
• Gemini tends to do things on a whim, just for the experience, contrary to Scorpio, who almost always has a plan.
• Scorpio can use their focus and determination to help teach Gemini the value in finishing things before jumping headlong into the next experience. 
• Gemini provides the reasoning and brain power and Scorpio brings their healthy dollop of appeal, emotionalism and passion 
•  Both of them are curious lovers and so they can be entirely fascinated with one another. But the very differences that attracted them to each other in the first place can turn into serious issues as time goes on.
• They try to tame each other in their own ways.
• The Gemini girl is a very clever and intellectual human being but her mind never settles, and her thoughts are always in a fantasy land. She wants someone fun, someone exciting, and someone who can stimulate her imagination. This makes it difficult to convince her to become deeply involved with any one person. But at the same time she is very romantic and brightly sensitive person who can manage to show affection with ease.
• Scorpio male falls for the Gemini female’s bubbly charm and intellect, her clever conversations and the delicate nature she gives out. After the newness wears off he begins to reevaluate how much he really adores her charm and bubbly attitude.
• awe of her starts to be replaced with jealousy which causes her to rethink such a relationship also. Although she feels that her he is constantly trying to pin her down and control her every move, she must realize how deep rooted his love for her really is. 
• If the Scorpio man feels that his Gemini woman is trying to change him from the very deep leveled roots he was born with, it becomes very difficult for him to take it. In such a situation, he just needs to understand that it is just her whimsical ways of trying to tell him to back off and let her have some room.

This is only a taste of all the different ways that I read about how these two zodiac signs interact and counteract with one another. I couldn't really find any thing we didn't fit into. It's very interesting and almost mystical that a bond of human love can have a mystical force affect it because of the way the planets in our universe are positioned. Very mystical indeed. 

Self-Indulgence

I had quite an emotional day today.. Pretty average if you know me, but nonetheless emotional. I was watching Baz Luhrrman's masterpiece Romeo & Juliet from 1996 (yes the Leo one) and I was at home, not quite feeling like myself when I had a surge of anger and anxiety flood through me.. I had several choices: I could sit home and sulk, sit home and read and then be reminded and sulk, or I could release the Kraken (I also watched 300: Rise of an Empire recently.. That's the same genre as the Kraken movie right?) so I decided the latter. I needed to release some physical energy so I decided to go on a run. Sounds innocent enough but when you take into account that it was 9 pm and I decided to go alone, sans car to a park almost a mile from my house, it was quite a risk. And while I am all too naive, even I realized that this is a story that ends up on the 9 o clock news with a bad ending. I could not bear the risk of staying at home though.. My sanity was at stake here, right?  So my naïveté won in the end and I found myself at the park. I listened to "Exit Music for a Film" by Radiohead and something inside me was released, as I had hoped. It was shelled inside me, but I had unraveled it and with every mile I ran, I let everything go. I'm not sure what It was but I felt new again, like I haven't in months. It's very telling to be alone with yourself for large amounts of time. You can either devolve into loneliness or you can learn to grow, and love to grow. I felt okay by myself- I feel like I evolve more and think more appropriately when I am worried about myself. I listened to the song and I felt so amazing. Maybe it was the movie, the song, or the weather. Maybe it was just that I was one with my thoughts- no one else, no conflicts, no pessimism. 

 I've learned that there are times which if you do not listen to yourself at your laziest, craziest most self indulgent times, you will lose a piece of yourself.. You can lose many pieces, many times without reminding yourself of the magic that is you.

I've grown up and let myself become very self-indulgent because of my whimsical, selfish portrait of life and I don't know when I'm doing more help than harm but I know most of the time what feels right, just feels right and there is nothing else. Even when something hurtful feels right something much harder feels even more right.. So it's not a matter of hurting yourself with doing what you want, but a matter of knowing you're doing what you will want in the long run. 

Whether it's a semi-dangerous late night jog, a place that triggers memories, an old sad song you can't bring yourself to hear, a spur of the moment trip to the lake, a confession you've been wanting to reveal, or something as harmless as a midnight run to Whataburger by yourself.. Listen to your mind, because chances are that it is not the trip itself that will reveal something but the thoughts you allow yourself to hear when you are in a self-loving place. 

Lose yourself in love, in music, in being alone. Just don't lose yourself. 

Breaking Upwards

I've never done it. Okay- lies. I've done it once before, but it was in high school and it was my first "love" and we all know that doesn't really count. What really counts is your first love.

Again- lies. I've done it many, many times. But only once with a mindset that it was permanent. Other times, for whatever reason. "Get away from me." "I can't believe you did that." "I messed up badly and I don't wanna deal with the repercussions so I'll break up with you until you deal with it on your own." "I just read old emails and I'm wondering why you don't get me flowers anymore." 

All of the above have come out of my mouth, believe it or not. Yes, I've been a bitch. No, I don't regret it. Being a bitch has gotten me into a lot of turmoil I've had to build a thick skin to get out of. 

Regardless, I've broken up lots of times but never gone through a real break-up. 

Many times, on the verge and with a full intent of breaking up, I would get emotional and confess all my love and start to be really sweet and understanding so of course the most sane thought would be as follows: "Why are we breaking up in the first place?" So then I would trigger what would become a circle. These circles would happen over and over and over and there wouldn't be any space between them until they stopped. And everything was perfect. But still something was missing. 

As wrong as it might sound to say this, I would imagine my own break-up. A sudden push and pull. A revelation. A skeleton in a closet. A huge, apocalyptic fight. Another person, maybe. A final straw.

It is much more complex than that though. It doesn't happen all at once- no, that would be too good to be true. 

Breakups are slow. First, you stop including each other, you begin to make more and more plans without them. If you do try to make plans with them at times, it becomes too much of a mental hassle that you would just rather not. You hear random tones, words, thoughts. All hinting at what you would rather just turn your cheek at. Too many bones broken, too many times, too many hours, tears, years. You start to wonder how it wasn't that trip or that spring fling two years ago that shredded everything apart.. It was everything along the way. Moments when you decided to keep quiet, nothing to say. Moments you decided to stop yelling, stop fighting. You stopped fighting for each other, then you stopped fighting each other, then you just stopped fighting, then you just stopped. Everything stopped, and everyday slowly became a fuzzy blur of just barely keeping track of each other.. Emotions under wraps, careful not to make a mess. 

I have a theory. My theory is that this is not an end to a relationship, but a point. A point in very many emotional, tumultuous relationships that most people don't get past. Sometimes, it's best for both parties to wave a white flag and move on with their lives. 

I read a beautiful anecdote once that is true when it pertains to people, but also when it pertains to human relationships: 

"Dying is easy. Living is the hard part."

I believe whole-heartedly that breaking-up with someone you want to be with is taking the easier route. Notice I didn't say easy but easier. There is no easy route, but once two people have changed and hurt each other too much, it is much more convenient to start over with someone who's a perfect fit and the complete opposite of your ex. 

Trying is harder. Trying to rid yourself of the past and of old mannerisms and old memories is a bitch. That's why so many people call it quits. While it is true that some are just attempting to get out of toxic relationships, most of the time, you are both contributing to the toxicity of your relationship; therefore it can be undone.

I used to be very Tumblr about my relationships. I would carry one truth with me around everywhere at all times. It was my go-to advice to others and I was loyal to it. "What's meant to happen will."

What I thought it meant was that if something doesn't work out, it just will not. You move on, and trust that fate will take care of your broken little heart. I then met a boy who completely crushed my truth; "That's such bullshit. If you really love somebody you don't care about what's supposed to happen. They are what's supposed to happen. You make it happen, no matter what."

That was almost five years ago.. My truth changed then and there. 

Every now and then I read articles and blog posts that really get to me.. Some as sensitively titled as: "When You Should Know It's Over" or I see a girl's picture of herself freshly-coupled up a month after a break up or I just hear some kind of comment about how staying together is twisted logic.. and my reaction to that is a 17 year old boy's wise words: "Thats such bullshit. If you really love somebody you don't care about what's supposed to happen. They are what's supposed to happen. You make it happen, no matter what.