Why Samantha Jones Was Onto Something

 

If you're an avid Sex and the City watcher, you'll probably think I'm crazy. I mean, Carrie's the one always the emotional, hopeless romantic bending over backwards for Mr. Big, Charlotte is the always hopeful, always positive dreamer waiting for her Prince Charming and fairytale life.. Even Miranda's cynical ways probably make her smart enough to deal with love and relationships.. But Samantha Jones?... 

Not only is she a woman after my own Public Relations heart, she breaks the mold. 

For those of you who don't watch the show, here's a quick review on Samantha: "Samantha is one of four single friends portrayed in the series. A proud, confident, highly sexual woman. Most of her storylines revolve around the frequent sex and brief affairs she has. She is outspoken and a self-proclaimed "try-sexual" (meaning she'll try anything at least once). She is portrayed as brash, straightforward, highly protective of her friends and unafraid of confrontation. She also displays nonchalance toward dating and monogamy and becomes uncomfortable whenever her sexual relationships take an emotional turn."

Sam is not only a sex-pot though. What differentiates her from any overtly sexualized woman (aka whore) is that she is highly successful, owns her own public relations company, is wealthy and very supportive of her friends. Which in some cases and in my opinion, rightly gives her the privilege to be selfish.. At least in her relationships with men. She does not want to be monogamous, she does not want to be caged in, but she is a loving woman. 

She has only two serious relationships in the series and movies and they are with business tycoon Richard Wright and young model Jerrod Smith. 

In both cases, she fights it, falls deeply, then, when she realizes she is hurting, and when any other woman would beg a man to change, manipulate him, cry over him and torture herself, Sam does the opposite.. She leaves him. Both with the same line.. Also the reason she is truly my SATC hero: "I love you- but I love me more." 

 She wasn't always so disciplined though.. At one point even being the cliche.. Running up countless flights of stairs to check if Richard was cheating again and at another point cheating on Jerrod with Richard.. But I believe that's what makes her all the more real.. All the more emotional and erratic.. Like all women are. It gave her enough color to say "hey, I'm as crazy as all of you, but I can make the right choice for myself anyway.. Cause I love myself.. And so can you."  

I think this kind of love for herself is necessary... No, crucial to a woman's self-esteem. We have to learn to love ourselves more than we want to love others. We have to know that if some relationships fall apart, our love for ourself is most beneficial, most grand. No man is worth crying for and no love is big enough to wreck a woman who truly respects herself and takes care of herself. 

While I'm not particularly saying to go out and sleep with every guy you think is attractive (but hey, to each their own!) a woman's focus should be on her own goals, dreams, success and happiness. And if on the path to your happiness you have a dozen flirtatious flings, then so be it! Youth isn't eternal. 

Also, if you are in a happy, healthy relationship, you can be Sam Jones in your own way. Be carefree and supportive and loving and non-judgmental. 

Single, in a relationship, in between... Whatever your situation may be,  be the best Sam you can be.