What It Means to be Hopeless And A Romantic

For a hopeless romantic, I'm really either too hopeless or too romantic.

Let's branch out about this..

Yes, I love the idea of an undying love and a gentleman with morals from the 18th century, taste in classical music a la Edward Cullen, a soulmate, a better half, a fairytale story, an inside joke, love letter, serenades.. The whole love fest. Nothing new, I have an old soul with old fashioned needs. 

This is what I believe to be though, the reason why I'm also very hopeless. Every Tom, Dick and Harry you meet nowadays (in my city at least) can't count the number of girls he's been with on one hand, thinks Wiz Khalifa and 2 Chainz are actual musicians (rolls eyes), and their idea of a great date is Blue Fish (or some other "popular" uncreative trendy restaurant) and an action movie at the local AMC. 

Ways to fix our guys: 

First of all, you can't change or fix a guy who doesn't want to be changed. You also can't trust just anybody. Trust isn't something you can control or try to do, you either do or you don't. And when you don't, there's not much else you can do. You can either go crazy, or you can hone your crazy into other things. This starts by fucking loving the shit out of yourself and saying "I'm too good for this shit." But not in the sense that you go parading around on a high horse telling everybody how much better you think you are than another person. You're too good 'cause your momma taught you better. You're too good cause you love yourself fully and you want to stop being negative and sad and angry all the time. You want to be your best self to every one around you. You look at happy people and you say "I wanna be that, cause she's happy and she looks beautiful." And you be that. You find this peace within yourself over time, quietly and slowly and maturely. I found it by exercising and spending every day after school with my grandparents laughing about memories and putting myself into charity work, riding the train at times, just placing myself into places where I could be by myself and truly be amazed at human kind, our resilience, how we all fight different wars with ourselves every day, how to perform small kindnesses and how to plant positivity every day.

Now about that bad date.. No my expectations of a date aren't too high at all.. What about doing something no other guys do? What about walking up to the door and knocking with a five dollar bouquet from Kroger instead of calling that you're outside? I may not speak for every girl out there but a gesture like this, a humble meal at her favorite restaurant and time to talk sounds like a much better date than any stuffy five star restaurant.

And while you can't change your taste in music, how about developing a taste in music? Whether it's classical, indie, jazz, some sort of beautiful music you can both appreciate when you're not pre-gaming or fist pumping.. (Cause hey, you'll need that when you grow up anyways!) 

Not all guys are the same just like not all girls are the same, but I have a theory that if we stop whoring ourselves, lying, whining, instagramming a picture every damn minute and comparing guys to each other and start appreciating the morals that make some men great we will end the stigma that girls are sluts, bitchy, materialistic and sneaky. If you appreciate and value yourself you won't be doing anything you don't feel comfortable doing, and while we all have lapses in judgement, I'm sure by our twenties we've all learned right and wrong and that the day after that right or wrong, right sits happily on our shoulders while wrong leaves a whiny ache. 

But even if guys stick to their shitty music and boring date, roll your eyes if you need to, but after that stick to your own morals, remember your value.. And any guy (even those with an IQ as low as Ryan Lochte's) will also see what you're worth, what you tolerate, what you are truly glowing about and you will inevitably attract your choice of Edward Cullen, Romeo or Mr. Darcy.